Sunday, February 29, 2004

Hanging the battle-scarred pinata 

We were outnumbered 240 to nine. The ratio of them to us was 27:1. It wasn't looking out to be a very good day.
In the first five minutes we were getting flanked on the right and left sides by 32 of them. And more were pouring in every minute. It was only a matter of time before they hit our station. We were fully stocked and prepared, but were our minds prepared for this onslaught? I suppose there was only one way of figuring it out: by jumping into it with both feet.
We had the first few hits within the first ten minutes of it all. The station to my right was trying desperately to keep up with the barrage of hits; the left, was having an even harder time than the right.

This was only the beginning.

our left and right flanks each had three people, our station, the one that traditionally had the most action only had two. The buzzing noise was an indication that we were in for more than we bargained for. We fought hard for an hour and a half. Then we had a brief period of time when we had to restock our stations. We were then told that we were about to get hit again. Our hearts sank.

All four stations, pizzsal, convection, saute and brofry, kept up with the hits for another two hours. A relentless pounding over and over. I felt like I was going to pass out. I sustained a few injuries, burns mostly, but kepted my defenses strong; I wasn't about to throw in the towel. Ravenous and dehydrated, we emerged victorious, only to realize that tomorrow was going to be worse, for the battle had been won but the war was far from over.

That was work in a nutshell, well, more of a coconut shell, being such a tale and all...
My tired body aches, but my mind remains happy. I can't wait 'til my first paycheck!
I'll write more later. People! Leave comments!
better years await us...rustedhalo


Friday, February 27, 2004

Dashboard Professional 

Just got back from work.
Man, what a loooooooooooooooooooong day.

I burned my hand pretty badly just yesterday. I got hot (165 degrees F.) pasta sauce on my hand. I wiped it off right away but it still really bloody hurt. It started to bubble up and stuff like that. The blister turned into a big sack of clear liquid. ouchy wawa. It was the worst burn I had ever suffered.

So remember those recipes I was studying? well I did the test. and I got 68%...the highest mark in my group. I doubled everyone else's score. I rule by the way.

I really like working in a kitchen. I like being a cook. it's really fun. It's a tough call. I mean, I could make a living out of being a chef. I couldn't' really make a living being a creative artisic photographer, which I really really love, unless, for some very unusual and very unlikely situation, I became really famous.

I wonder which will end up taking the most of my time when I'm older and "grown up."

So here's my question: are you, readers, seeking or are you currently in the profession that you want to be in? And, did you have this profession in mind since when you were young? Or, did you decide on it recently? What profession do you want to be in?

it'd be cool if you readers could elaborate on this subject in the comments section.

I've also added a survey section, this one's about music. So go check it out.
Well, my writing style has muched changed because of my working status. but as soon as I get back to my lazy days when I get my day off, I should be writing something of worth then. So stay tuned.

this is halo, saying goodnight
better years await us...rustedhalo


Thursday, February 26, 2004

Near the Horizon 

I'm terribly sorry that I haven't written more often, but I've been horribly busy with many things.
I am no longer the unemployed bum that had read about in here before.

I now work.

It was rather unexpected. I awoke one morning to find the telephone ringing and ringing and ringing, then when the answering machine got it. The phone would ring again three more times. I'm not really sure how long this went on for, because I was drifting in and out of a dreamy state.

I finally got up, and it was my mother. She told me that a guy named Dave called me and she gave me the number. I called them back and sure enough it was a guy named Dave. He was from East Side Mario's, where I am currently in training. He asked me if I had a job. I said no. He asked if I wanted one. I said, stupidly, "I guess." So I was all set up to start my training that day.

What do I think of it? I think it's quite easy. Well easier than my other job in which I had to basically do everything in the kitchen. This kitchen is based upon team work. Each station does specific tasks like the fryers, broilers, grillers, salad/pizzas and my position, saute. I make pasta dishes. I don't mean that I fuse sand together to create glass, I mean I put together the necessary ingredients to create it.. or whatever.
yeah, so now that's what I do.

This training program that they have me on is so damn hard. It's taken all my creativity away (hence, the long boring description of my job), and it has made me very stressed. I have to learn 29 recipes by today and I only got them two days ago. yeah... so i'm ultra stressssssed.

I'm really toying around with the Html codes, so be prepared for new things =1

hmm.. more later for sure! I promise. I don't know about you, but when I read stuff that people write down and they don't write in a couple of days, I get all worried about them, and I really hope that nothing happened to them, then I get all relieved when they finally get some words down.
hmmm. I need to take some pictures.
better years await us...rustedhalo


Friday, February 20, 2004

I'm Alive again! 

It's so good to be rid of horribleness.

That was a hectic couple of days. My Blog was being the biggest bastard, and it was all because of the smallest mistake. The last entry was when I thought it was fixed. Boy was I wrong. I could post, but the thing that I wrote wouldn't be published. Through many overhauls, I managed to fix it.

The biggest pain in the ass was that I couldn't vent anywhere. I hate my writing, so I couldn't' write it down, I couldn't really tell my thoughts to anyone because I'm rather introverted and I can't say what I want to say more clearly in this medium.

So here it is, my new format.. which is quite like my old format. Oh well.
I'll write more later, I gotta go.
better years await us...rustedhalo


Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Fold your arms child, you walk like a peasant! 

ugh. Computing is hard. Especially when you don't really know HTML all that well.

I'm just a beginner in the computer world; I'm definitely no internet jockey. All of these "sourcetags and codes" (an ...And you will know us by the trail of dead album name) make it quite difficult for someone to not screw over themselves and erase everything they have done. I think that I fixed it, but in the certain event that I didn't, sorry if you can't post comments or can't reach the links or whatever.

I'm not really sure on what to write tonight. A dozen things come to mind, but I can't really conjure up anything on the keyboard. I don't know if anyone else is like me in that they hate, absolutely HATE, their own hand writing. I just can't stand mine. This handicap of mine made it really difficult to create flowing vignettes is creative writing class.

I think out of all the classes that I took in high school that was my favourite one. I mean, what can be better than a class that you can create short stories, poems, rants, columns and the like? I didn't get the mark that I would've liked, but that was because I didn't write often enough. I'm writing way more frequent now, compared to what I was doing before.

I think it's a great thing to have an audience. I wasn't always ready to showcase my work (dramatic, artistic or expressing my thoughts through words); it took many years to be able to get to where I wanted to be. Dramatic arts has really developed my skills and helped me become more open and willing to share my work and receive criticism for it. Before Creative Writing, I had a hard time with my writing and I thought that I wasn't really talented enough.

Which has brought me to the question: Are writers, artists, musicians and the lot born with these talents? Can Someone who is not talented in these fields learn to be as talented?

I've hit a writer's block.

I'll write more tomorrow! I better get going.
Thanks for actually reading my blog. =')
better years await us...rustedhalo


Monday, February 16, 2004

puzzle pieces 

I'm not used to this keyboard.
The computer that i usually work with is not here, because it is my girlfriend's, so this one feels a bit dodgy (i love that word).
So, i'm by myself for the night. It is very unoften that i am by myself. Before my girlfriend and i got together, i was alone 80% of the time. Perhaps that was why i was so morose. Since we got together she and i have been together almost everynight. it's such a strange feeling to be away from her. I know it's only one night, but i feel very lonely. I miss her already ='(. I'm a sappy bugger.
I've gotten so comfortable with this one person.
Bed's gonna feel big and empty as well. i mean, it'll be great to finally get some time with my kit-tea, Beck. He's a great cat, which reminds me that i have to clean out his poo-box.
it's so strange, having to go back and forth between my house and her house. It's like i've already let go of this house, and moving out of town for when my girlfriend goes to college seems very easy. My girlfriend, however is taking this with much more difficulty.
i feel like i'm being unfair to my cat. He doesn't get to see me much, but he is getting better aquainted with my mother, father and brother. which is good. I miss my cat a lot when i'm not home.

The thing with living at my home is that i'm so far away from town. It's quite a long hike, as i don't have my driver's licence. I don't really want my licence... well that's not true, i do and i don't. When i drive, i don't want to transform like most people do when they drive. Suddenly people become impatient and start yelling at people when they are driving. "What the hell is this guy doing?!" "This asshole's driving 2 mph!" "Move it or lose it!" that kind of yak, you know.

Anyway. i just wanted to say that the feeling of being away from my girlfriend is so strange. I mean we're around each other so much, but it's not like we get sick of each other at all. it's the opposite.
I guess we're destined for each other! =')

"The last few months i have been living with this couple. Yeah, you know, the kind that buy everything in doubles. They fit together like a puzzle. I love their love adn i am thankful that someone actually revceives the prize that was promised, by all those fairy tales that drugged us." --"Waste of paint" by Bright Eyes.

That verse is how i feel about my girlfriend and i. we fit together like a puzzle.
man, did this entry get mushy!
anyway i better get going!
better years await us...rustedhalo


Sunday, February 15, 2004

the music according to halo 

So here i am. I personally think it's too early to write, but that's coming from me, a guy who usually doesn't wake up before nine. What do i write about this morning? It's actually very nice to wake up early for a change. It's a nice feeling when morning rays collide with your eyes that aren't accustomed to it yet. The burning sensation, when your pupils retreat and get much smaller, makes you feel like your alive, dammit!

I've been thinking about the past a lot lately. It's funny to see myself then. In grade 9, i was this chubby, shy, weird looking kid who didn't say much of anything. In grade 10, i was much slimmer (because of work that summer), but i still didn't say much to anyone. I wonder when that transformation was, when i started to talk to people more. Adults and older people didn't seem so scary anymore, but i don't remember when i made this realization. It must have been a gradual thing.

My very first album that i ever bought was Green Day: Dookie on Cassette. My family didn't have much money, so i didn't receive a cd player until much later. Before Green Day, music wasn't a very big part of my life, and the only thing that i listened to was whatever my parents listened to. My mom was a big CCR fan, my father, a country music guy (older country music). So i didn't receive that influence from music makers such as Pink Floyd, beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Velvet Underground, Bob Dylan, Rolling Stones and the like.

From GreenDay, i went to Offspring (which i later lent it out and lost it, but that person gave me Nirvana: Unplugged instead), then i had a brief stint with KoRn, which was a strange twist. Then there was that one day that started the musical revolution for me. That was the first day that i listened to The Cure: Disintegration.

This album lead to many great things. My retro 80's days. I listened to a lot of stuff in those days. Depeche mode ( i was hugely in to them), New Order (love those discotheque beats), Psychedelic Furs (later Love Spit Love, these guys were so miserable!) and many other musicians.

After the 80's music was over for me, i dove into the Smashing Pumpkins and music like that. I started to get into indie bands lately. I've also been really saturated into this band Bright eyes (this guy's also really miserable!). Broken Social Scene really quenches my thirsty ears as well. The one band that i really liked and still like are the cure. Before the Cure, for me, it was like a musical dark ages. I suppose everyone's experience with music is like that, until you find one you can really base yourself to.

To me, i'm not really sure what's more important, hearing or seeing. If i suddenly went deaf, i'd go crazy from hearing myself think, all the time. Too much thinking is hazardous to your health. But, in turn, if i went blind, i couldn't do the other thing that i love: photography. hmm i hope i never lose either.

Out of all my experiences with music. I think i have a broad taste. I can listen to classical, to heavier stuff like rage against the machine, to the long vocal-less, minimalist tunes of Sonic Youth, to the beautiful melodies of Sigur Ros, to the sunny-Sunday morning music of Belle and Sebastian and to the ultra fast beats of The Mars Volta.

hmm. Sunday mornings are good for writing what you know. Well i didn't come out here to write a novel, so i guess i shall be off. This is rustedhalo, still in his pj's, signing off.
Better years await us rustedhalo


Saturday, February 14, 2004


Tonight, i've done something that i've never done before in my entire life. Out of all the crazy things that i've done:
taking to the open road to New York City, Montreal and Vermont; being pulled behind a car on a GT; dress up as a woman; helped a naked woman, who was hanging outside a window, urinate; being naked several times myself; driving a car from the passenger seat whilst the real driver lay asleep in the driver's seat; got escorted from a club by the police; performed as a desperately sick man who has eaten a woman that he created out of rotten meat scraps in a play; flunked an accounting class even though i got the highest mark in the class on the first test; saved my neighbour's house from burning to the ground; won 1st place in two nintendo contests; got a gun pulled on me by the police (not my fault by the way); played the part of the mad hatter; wore my hair like Robert smith from the cure; and many more.
This almost takes the cake.
i have transformed myself. i'm pretty sure i'm still here, but my physical appearance has changed. The overall mood of my image is different. it's strange how you can change one thing and you look entirely different.
My hair is now black. I have dyed it.
Now this may not be such a shocker to anyone. People dye their hair all the time, but to me this is big, like sept. 11th, di's death, oj simpson, big. i wonder what people will think of it? will people shun me? will they love me for 'who i am?' will they throw rotten tomatoes at me until the sea-gulls peck my brains to the bone? They fucking better not! I hate tomatoes.
It's such a strange thing. I shouldn't care about what other people think of me, and i don't. i only care about what my friends and family think. They are the only people who's opinion matter most. So one by one, as i meet and greet them for the millionth time, i shall receive their comments on my hair, from their tactful judgments i shall scrape together a decision on the matter. If some random stranger on the street yells, "Hey, Satan!" i shall not take it to heart.
In other news, This debacle between friends seems to be ebbing (i hope!), and i do hope that both parties can talk sense in to each other and are willing to forgive for past offences. As reading week for colleges and universities start soon, i look forward to seeing my past come to life again. i miss everyone.
i'm still getting the hang of this HTML thing, so this site will change periodically.
I've given up getting drunk. Me and the sick tasting suds at the bottom of the bottle are over. Only in moderation. This does not mean me giving up drinking all together, i enjoy the taste of various lagers, ales, and the like. It means i will not be getting 'wasted.' I think it is a waste of money and a waste of brain cells. Also, i'm tired of making an ass of myself, and i don't want to live up to my 'heritage.' That is not my real Heritage. That one was manifested by the government in power, not necessarily the liberals, but the Canadian Government. I'll write more on the subject later.
Well, i must be off, for the fairies of sleep call to me
Good night
better years await us


Sunday, February 08, 2004

How can cats get legally high but human beings can't!? 

I gave the cat's catnip yesterday.
what a strange thing, to see them writhing on the floor, scrubbing their cheeks and chins on the carpet, leaving dark trails of drool on the rug (and i thought dogs were bad!).

Well, another Valentine's extravaganza is upon us soon. the only day reserved for people who are lucky in love (which seems like everyone when you're alone). Before my girlfriend and i were together, i always felt like i was unlucky in love. i used to look at all the other males with girlfriends and observe how they treat their girlfriends, and more often than not, they treated them like a pound of beef.
I always used to think that why the hell don't the fems like me? i've always been a great guy (i'd like to think anyway); i was funny (in my own dark, little way); why not me!?
And to this day, i don't know the answer.
I must say that i am very grateful for my relationship that i am in now and it's greatly changed my once pessimistic views i once had of this "so called life" for the better.
I can't really say that i've been the bestest damn boyfriend in town, but i'm trying hard as of late.
Before i had a girlfriend, one of my best friends and i, were miserable. for no good damn reason! our "days of gloom" are now over, mine ending with the finding of such a wonderful lady my girlfriend is! or rather she found me. She found me in a vortex of feelings, a spinning world of aching hearts and dry souls (i am ultra deep by the way.).

I look back to those days now, and i'm embarrassed at my attitude then. Well i guess i can't expect much from a teenaged boy who listened to too much of The Cure, Depeche Mode and The Psychedelic Furs. All of those years were loathsome when i wanted someone to be my valentine and the call went unanswered.

Valentine's day.... a corporate day in the year where we are supposed to show our love by buying pieces of paper with corporate mascots saying (this was a ninja turtle one) "it's cool being green on valentine's day!" What the hell does that mean?!? if it were blue's clues would it say: it's cool being blue on valentine's day? who the hell wants to be blue on valentines? no one that's who! We shouldn't limit ourselves to one day a year to tell our loved ones that we love them. It shouldn't be reserved to the one significant person in your life too! go out and tell everyone you love, that you love them! Everyday! (this sounds like an after school special)

There i go again, getting bitter. ahh well. i'm in a great mood tonight, and i really don't know why. My day wasn't that great though. i really don't know why it was like that.
well i guess i should be pushing off to sea.
better years await us


Friday, February 06, 2004

Turmoil, havoc, anguish and a dash of angst. 

i've been really philosophical as of late.
it's really been due to a number of events in my life; events that have literally shook the very foundations of my once stable society. The quakes seem to come in packs like starving dogs. My mental stability really cracked when my long-time furry friend chino died on January the twenty-fifth, two thousand-four.
It's really strange. i used to think to myself when ever i heard of someone losing someone who was dear to them that you know, they had a good life, a warm home, a full belly and a loving family to belong to, but you totally disregard all of those thoughts when you experience death so close.
I was shocked to see myself going through the stages of death. I never really thought that the human mind worked like that. As each stage passed and another one came around the bend, i was with full realization of what was happening to me and how i may react next.
i am also greatly affected by the conflict that is going on between life-long partners. These two friends were just that: great friends. They always hung out together, had their own specific ways of doing things, and they both did almost everything together. It wasn't until recently that these two have been drifting apart for reasons i cannot tell you why.
i mean what do you do when you see a bond that was stronger than any married couple, stronger than a pack of charging horses and hell, a bond that was even stronger than super glue break apart? It's like the fucking roman empire being split into two.

I'd like to use this opportunity to say that i love both parties equally, and it hurts me to see them in such turmoil.
i want to do something, but i don't know what. I'm helpless.

i've also decided a while back to not go to college this year. This decision was brought upon my experience in the field of photography. I'm not where i want to be in terms of skill. i've been trying to improve myself by reading various books and trying out different things, but I'm just not confident in my skills. Perhaps it's a psychological problem or maybe I'm afraid of failure.
ugh. This entire entry is full of woe. Though it may not seem like it, i am quite happy, but recent events have me playing the blues for a time yet. I'll write a lot better when this stuff is resolved or something of that sort.
and so i end another broadcast day.
better years await us.
p.s. i promise to write more frequently.


Wednesday, February 04, 2004

This is something new.
I am creating this in order to document the truth, to share my feelings, to create.
here goes:

This was a strange warm day; a little too warm for the beginning of Feb. The day itself was a great day (not that being strange constitutes the day as great), but the early morning hours was something else altogether.
This morning i dreamt of someone strange. I dreamt of someone who i haven't seen or heard from in ages (or what felt like ages, when it's only merely been three years).
The last time we parted, it was on hostile terms. These hostilities were pretty much more or less brought on by me.
In my dream, i was over at Emily's house and so was my girlfriend. They were getting along great, talking, laughing and the lot. However, her attitude toward myself was hostile, because she had never forgiven me for what i had done.
It's always been a secret goal of mine to always part in good terms with people. This girl is the only person with whom i haven't been able to do so with.
Dreams have a way of haunting you. Speaking of which, my horoscope had told me today that the past was going to haunt me this week. so i guess it's correct (not that i totally believe in them and live my life according to the stars.).
better years await us


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