Wednesday, January 26, 2005

i miss my cat.
Midnite Dawn Photography


Tuesday, January 25, 2005

When the curious girl realizes she is under glass. 

The sands of January are almost gone. Each grain tattooed with the memories of each minute of each hour of each day. We're almost through this. We've survived this long; we might as well go out the rest of the way. And the old man who haunts us for these bitter months is almost dead. It will be alright to go outside again.

With the death of winter nigh, there comes many tough choices. Many years ago spring time was an opportunity to bury the dead who had fallen, as the ground was much to frozen to do so during the winter months. This metaphor is very significant in our lives at this time.

Many urgencies and choices are in front of me this spring. When my girlfriend is done school, do I stay? I'm sure you know by now that oakville isn't the best place for me to live. Once our roommates start leaving one by one, am I able to keep up with the rent payments? What's going to happen if I don't get into Sheridan college here in oakville? What about if I get accepted to another college instead of Sheridan? Choices.

I grow weary of work. So what else is new?

I ache for something familiar. Recently I was visited by someone from my past; it's been many months since we conversed. It was a glorious thing, and I missed her very much. That was a very good weekend. I hope that this person doesn't stay in my past, but in my present. She was the first friend to visit me since our move down here, and it has been many lonely months since then.

I suppose the reason why I am so miserable here is because I am alone (I'm starting to sound like my grandmother here). Though I live with five other people, it is quite rare that I ever get to talk to them, let alone do anything fun with them. They are all so busy with school and other jobs and other various activities. Also, my job requires me to work nights and therefore when I am home (during the day), everyone is at school, and when I get home (late at night), everyone is asleep. I have an opposite schedule. I guess you can say i have no friends.

Perhaps the reason why i cling to huntsville so much is because it was alright to do nothing there. because there was actually nothing really to do. But here , surrounded by people who are really busy, It makes me feel 'useless' in a sense. i think i need a hobby, but ideas escape me.

I feel like i'm waiting for something to happen.
better years await us....rustedhalo


Wednesday, January 05, 2005

The Year of Accomplishment, Part II 

Another christmas come and gone. Another year came to an end. and what has come of it?
I'm not going to be a sad bastard on you guys here, because i am not a sad bastard. I had a very good, very quiet christmas, complete with tree, a roast, a cozy fire, cookies, and most importantly, girlfriend! It's amazing how the presence of one person could change your whole outlook on life. if she had not been there christmas day, i would have probably been bitter and slept until 2 pm or something even more horrible and depressing, like listening to the cure, or bright eyes instead of Hawksley Workman's "almost a full moon."

I had to work on christmas eve and boxing day, Days usually reserved for visiting your family or using your new sled you got for xmas to go tobogganing. /But for some reason, people in oakville tend to eat out at these establishments and go and check out the boxing week specials because they are very cheap. or perhaps they like bargins--who can tell.

New years. it was also very quiet. I spent it going out to dinner with a pair of friends and my girlfriend. We went to the east side mario's where i used to work. it seemed good, until our horrible server pretty much ignored us. he didn't give us utensils, refil drinks, give us more bread, and even over charged us. so...needless to say, his tip was very small. What is 0% of your total bill? oh yes. exactly what he's worth.

So new years resolutions. what are they and how will i accomplish them? Well to tell you the truth i didn't make any resolutions. Which is strange because usually i make silent deals with myself to be a better person, then i gfuck it up anyway. So this year, I dubbed 2005 'The Year of Accomplishment, Part II." However, the problem with the last Year of Accomplishment, is that i looked at the entire year. this year i will break it down into months.
For example. this month i am applying to school and working on my portfolio. I have to do this. I have to.

So there really isn';t much going on you see. but i shall write more if you stay tuned. I am also currently almost at 1000 viewers! that should be a great celebration!

better years await us...rustedhalo


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