Friday, April 23, 2004

grave injustices 

So here i am again. This time very tired, for yesterday i woke up quite early, bought cat litter, went home. then biked back to town. It's a hefty ride. Then from there i biked to work, worked for 7.5 hours biked home and slept for 12 hours. it's been a busy week and i've only just caught up on sleep.

While venturing to town on my cycle, i continued a ritual that i always do when i bike to town. I visited the site of my grandfather's grave. These past few days, as i speak to more and more elderly men, i've been missing my grandfathers even more. Grandpa Henry died when i was very young, 1989; i was five years young. My Grandpa Joe died in 1991; i remember him a bit more than i do the other one. When Henry died, it really devestated my one remaining grandparent. I should see her more. ...hmm

When i was sitting there at his grave, it was peaceful, except for one thing. The cars on the road beside the graveyard. Life really does go on without you. It's strange how my grandfather was probably forgotten by people who barely knew him, and to people who knew him well, he still exists in us. Will People remember him 200 years from now? or will he fall lost in time forever? I wonder how my death will impact people?
I read recently that a southwestern native tribe called the Hopi, don't have words in their language for the past, present or future, so they talk about their loved ones who had passed away years ago as if they had just stepped outside the door. I hope i get talked about like that. I don't want to be refered to in past tense.

New poll coming soon

better years await us...rustedhalo


Wednesday, April 21, 2004

i'm too lazy to spell check. 

Holy Hell! I'm surprised people still venture here. It's been a long time since i've written. you are a dedicated bunch. Once again I apologize. Work has been horrendous.

Well, another year of my life is beginning. It's still in its embryo stages being only five days as a twenty year old, but i'm beginning to feel its power shaping my being into something older. With this birthday comes change yet again. This change is to my style. Some of the people who know me may remember a similar change that didn't really work out (ahem, orange pants). This one is a little bit more subtle. The meaning behind this change, is that i would like more than one style. I mean, i'm quite diverse in my tastes but very concentraited in my look. I don't wear my clothing for other people, i wear it because it makes me feel good, and being naked would be unbearably chilly.

My girlfriend and I have come to another cross-road. To which location do we move to? My girlfriend got accepted into all her schools, and now comes the difficult part. Sheridan? or Fanshawe? Both Schools are acceptible in my books; they both have photography which is what i want to get into. We just need to decide where we want to go. I think that we're leaning toward Oakville. Mostly because it is much closer to friends, family and the city. London, although nice, is quite far away from everyone.

A close friend of mine has recently gone through a transformation, a revolution in her mind. I think that it's really great. She's much happier now, things are working out; and she's ready to take on the world again (not that she wasn't able to before).

hmm. i've run out of steam for now. This time I do not promise to keep writing more often, because i'll probably end up breaking it. so i write when i wish. or have time. Do not worry i will not keep you hanging.
better years await us...rustedhalo


Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Daydream Nation 

I sit trembling as the cursor blinks on the blank screen. It's been a long time. It's been a long time since I've decided to take what happens in my days and bring them here. And why haven't I written? It's because I haven't really been doing much.

The journal in itself is like looking into a reflective pool at yourself, or to people who read it, like watching someone's life from afar under the perspective of the writer. The journal is a summary of that person's life. It may not be a comprehensive one, but it certainly tells them what their life is like. So I guess my reasoning for not writing is because all I have been doing is pretty much going to work, home then bed. When you finally get around to realizing that all your doing is this, it gets rather depressing.

I'm just being dramatic however, it hasn't been that bad. I've purchased many new CDs. I've purchased an XBOX, I don't know why, but it's awesome anyway. I bought a CD player, but it didn't work so I had to bring it back, many hassles later, I got my money refunded.

I've met a new friend, finally. I miss all my old friends very much, but I finally found someone who's cool enough to hang out with me (haha that's so conceited), he's a pretty cool dude, I guess. We have a good time at work.

Work is such a horrible place for gossip. It's so fucked up how everyone wants to know what's going on! It's so fucked up how everyone gets so worked up when sometime goes wrong. I just work there. You have to keep telling yourself that it's just a job. That's what my boss tells me: it's just a job.

I sorry that I haven't been writing as often as I should, but I don't really have the time, well I do, but there are other pressing matters at hand at the moment (ie. The deficit, the economy and the whatnot).

Be that as it may, I shall write more often, even if I have really nothing to say.
Remember, a line allows progress, a circle does not.
better years await us...rustedhalo


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