Tuesday, January 25, 2005
When the curious girl realizes she is under glass.
The sands of January are almost gone. Each grain tattooed with the memories of each minute of each hour of each day. We're almost through this. We've survived this long; we might as well go out the rest of the way. And the old man who haunts us for these bitter months is almost dead. It will be alright to go outside again.
With the death of winter nigh, there comes many tough choices. Many years ago spring time was an opportunity to bury the dead who had fallen, as the ground was much to frozen to do so during the winter months. This metaphor is very significant in our lives at this time.
Many urgencies and choices are in front of me this spring. When my girlfriend is done school, do I stay? I'm sure you know by now that oakville isn't the best place for me to live. Once our roommates start leaving one by one, am I able to keep up with the rent payments? What's going to happen if I don't get into Sheridan college here in oakville? What about if I get accepted to another college instead of Sheridan? Choices.
I grow weary of work. So what else is new?
I ache for something familiar. Recently I was visited by someone from my past; it's been many months since we conversed. It was a glorious thing, and I missed her very much. That was a very good weekend. I hope that this person doesn't stay in my past, but in my present. She was the first friend to visit me since our move down here, and it has been many lonely months since then.
I suppose the reason why I am so miserable here is because I am alone (I'm starting to sound like my grandmother here). Though I live with five other people, it is quite rare that I ever get to talk to them, let alone do anything fun with them. They are all so busy with school and other jobs and other various activities. Also, my job requires me to work nights and therefore when I am home (during the day), everyone is at school, and when I get home (late at night), everyone is asleep. I have an opposite schedule. I guess you can say i have no friends.
Perhaps the reason why i cling to huntsville so much is because it was alright to do nothing there. because there was actually nothing really to do. But here , surrounded by people who are really busy, It makes me feel 'useless' in a sense. i think i need a hobby, but ideas escape me.
I feel like i'm waiting for something to happen.
better years await us....rustedhalo
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With the death of winter nigh, there comes many tough choices. Many years ago spring time was an opportunity to bury the dead who had fallen, as the ground was much to frozen to do so during the winter months. This metaphor is very significant in our lives at this time.
Many urgencies and choices are in front of me this spring. When my girlfriend is done school, do I stay? I'm sure you know by now that oakville isn't the best place for me to live. Once our roommates start leaving one by one, am I able to keep up with the rent payments? What's going to happen if I don't get into Sheridan college here in oakville? What about if I get accepted to another college instead of Sheridan? Choices.
I grow weary of work. So what else is new?
I ache for something familiar. Recently I was visited by someone from my past; it's been many months since we conversed. It was a glorious thing, and I missed her very much. That was a very good weekend. I hope that this person doesn't stay in my past, but in my present. She was the first friend to visit me since our move down here, and it has been many lonely months since then.
I suppose the reason why I am so miserable here is because I am alone (I'm starting to sound like my grandmother here). Though I live with five other people, it is quite rare that I ever get to talk to them, let alone do anything fun with them. They are all so busy with school and other jobs and other various activities. Also, my job requires me to work nights and therefore when I am home (during the day), everyone is at school, and when I get home (late at night), everyone is asleep. I have an opposite schedule. I guess you can say i have no friends.
Perhaps the reason why i cling to huntsville so much is because it was alright to do nothing there. because there was actually nothing really to do. But here , surrounded by people who are really busy, It makes me feel 'useless' in a sense. i think i need a hobby, but ideas escape me.
I feel like i'm waiting for something to happen.
better years await us....rustedhalo
