idiosyncrasy

The time of change is upon us again. This change has brought on a new wave of stress as well as we all scramble to find new homes and bid farewell to our old ones whether we like it or not.

This has been a turmulous summer. the blazing heat has made everyone a bit on edge i guess.

As of late i have not been the best friend or son. I think it's due to mostly being indecisive. And i think i've offended some people whom i respect and i didn't mean to do so. And for that i'm terribly sorry. I hope you guys read this. I hope you aren't too upset with me.

Last night i was asked a question. This question was one that i had to think about for a few minutes and i had to answer with caution. "If you could wake up tomorrow in a different lifestyle, what would it be like?"

The company that i shared both wanted fame, fortune and power (in a sense) I didn't want any of that. I was quite modest in that respect. the gang that i was with wanted to wake up super rich and famous. I on the other hand didn't want to be super famous. i just wanted enough money to live comfortably I didn't want to be so rich that i didn't need to work. i mean. i would have to have enough money so that i could be doing something that makes me happy. like photography or writing or something else. I think it would be quite boring to not have to work. i mean what would i do all day?

As for the fame thing... there isn't a single bone in my body that would want fame. not one. I'm not here to change the world; i just want to live in it comfortably. i want a house... one that is perferably almost self sufficent. Solar panels, well water, septic tank, garden, maybe a small creek in the back yard. not a big house either. lots of windows. a wood stove. mismatched furniture. art on the walls from various artists and friends... something like that. A vehical that is more practical than show (as long as it has a good sound system).

anyway i didn't say all this... I added that i didn't want to be rich. they questioned that.
why settle for that ? when you can have more?
because I don't need all of that. Also, what i dream of is more obtainable, i think.

I'm not saying that my way is the best way, because in no way i am not. I also don't think myself better because i can make do with less, nor do i think that other people are greedy for wanting more. I'm just saying that is what is best for me you know? everyone is different. These dreams of fame and fortune are not out of their grasps, anything is possible in this world. i mean look bush got elected again somehow...even though everyone hated him during his first term.
Do what makes you happy with the time we have. Fuck 'em if they say otherwise!
I'm going to write, even if i can't spell or if it's shitty, i'm going to paint even if it looks horrible, i'm going to sing because that's what makes me happy.
better years await us...rustedhalo